Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Standing Alone with No Signs of a Flash Mob

This isn't really a post about being a long distance grandmom or even anything to do with the Webbman, so STOP reading here if that's what you're looking for :)  

I'm all grown up, so I always thought by this time everything would be all figured out.  The road map of my life would be completely mapped out and there would be no more roller coaster rides on the horizon, but that's not the case.  I believe that the ride is just beginning.  I read a quote this morning and I swear I truly believe the good Lord knows what to guide me to each and every day.  Here it was......just what I needed, right when I needed encouragement and guidance the most:

"One of the most difficult things everyone has to learn is that for your entire life, you must keep fighting and adjusting if you hope to survive.  No matter who you are or what your position is, you must keep fighting for whatever it is you desire to achieve"    George Allen - American Football Coach

So, here I am, at 55, still fighting and it's OK.  I actually enjoy the challenge.  Being laid off a few years ago was a devastating set back at my point in life and the hunt for employment hasn't proved to be an enjoyable ride but to that note, it's given me time to absorb all the things about "me" that I didn't quite appreciate before.  All the things that I have neglected to pat myself on the back about during the ride to this point in my life, so now, I'm patting:

Let's see:

I'm strong.
I'm passionate about people.
I'm a nurturer.
If I loved you in my life, you know it, for better or worse :), and I will always love you.
If I'm your friend, I'm there for you when you need me.  I will not let work or play stand in the way if you reach out to me.
I will say I'm sorry whether I need to or not.
I'm generous, to a fault and put the needs of others first.

It's also given me time to absorb all the things that I need, so let's see on that front:

I need friends and interaction with people.
I need to feel like I'm making a difference.
I need to have meaningful conversation, even if it's with myself.
I need to feel like I'm helping other people.
I'm not a woman of solitude.
I need to take care of myself and put myself first more often.
I need to be part of a family, a nurturing family or not one at all.
I need interaction with friends, yes, this belongs on the list twice :).

Yes, this 2 and one half years of being in the realms of the unemployed and being in Atlanta has taught me lots of things.  It has taught me that if you want to be happy and healthy, sometimes you just have to do things that aren't easy.  Climb hills, mountains, maneuver things that you never predicted and sometimes you have to do it alone no matter how much you wish you had a flash mob standing right there with you.  So, here goes.  Off, I go to start my own flash mob.  Stay tuned.

P.S.  The Webbman is just fine, gearing up for Easter and making his first visit with the Easter Bunny in Oxford this weekend.  And I'm looking forward to the weekend after Easter when I get to hold that precious little bundle of joy and squeeze his lil cheeks and whisper "Bitsy Loves You" as many times as I like!

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