|Almost as much fun as being captured by hungry canabilistic pygmies and being offerred a last meal.|
- "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children ... or other adults acting like children."
- "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
- "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
- "Welcome aboard Atlantic Southeast Airlines, the Delta Connection Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."