1. Discuss w/the hubby. He's very understanding. The fact I'm married should really be a "non-issue".
2. Meet "Prince William" in some kind of unexpected way. (Kroger, the Library, Circle K?)
3. Research to see if Royals shop at Kroger/read/pump gas.
4. If not, research how to get position as royal scullery maid. Obtain hubby job as royal scullery man. Work extremely hard to keep our relationship "secret". Royals KNOW how to do this. No problem.
5. Contact previous employers to obtain references for scullery maid job application.
6. Upon meeting, captivate Prince with healthy curves that look way cuter than that Middleton thing's crazy diet body.
7. Acquire healthy curves. (New boobs, tummy tuck, a little lipo - last resort - several pair of SPANKS
8. Start Facebook campaign to raise money to cover last minute surgery and/or life time supply of spanks.
9. Once Prince is drooling appropriately, dazzle him with knowledge of fancy teas and ability to make scones, and of course introduce him to his new scullery man.
10. Research fancy scones and teas.
11. Spend amazing day roaming the streets of London, feeding each other scones.
12. Practice sexy scone-eating, they're a little dry.
13. Almost kiss in front of Big Ben, but get stopped by loud chime just before our lips meet.
14. Break it off (despite Prince's vehement protests) in order to save his good name.
15. Catch that Middleton troll cheating with someone Irish or American. Maybe one of each?
16. Show up at Buckingham Palace to warn Will about Kate, but immediately decide to leave, saving him pain/embarrassment, BUT on way out stop to save Queen from tripping down stairs, catching her in pillow-y new breasts, gaining her favor and causing enough commotion to make Prince run downstairs and see me running out the door (Gate? Drawbridge?), leaving behind a shoe.
18. In case of amicable break-up,
19. Start on backup plan re: Harry.
Well ya'll, you may not hear from me to the weekend. I'm going to be busy . . . . . royally busy beginning right NOW! Good day.