Bitsy's Lifelong Dream , One ticket to London please and the clock is ticking-(Big Ben, that is)!

This Bitsy has had 3 really big dreams in her life.  The first was to marry and raise the perfect child (Done).  Secondly, to have said perfect child be healthy, happy, attend and graduate college, marry at some point in here life, experience her dream job, and have her own perfect child (children), thereby facilitating the perfect grandchild (grandchildren) for "Bitsy".  (Done).  Well, my third big dream.  It hasn't proved so easy, however I see a window of opportunity right here in front of me, but that windows closing fast. . . . . . . . Wish Webb's Bitsy Luck. 

Well, THE wedding is tomorrow morning.  I woke up this morning and realized, this Bitsy has got alot to do.  It's never too late to realize your dreams . . . . . right?  I have less than 24 hours to fulfill my life long dream of marrying a prince, living the remainder of my life as a princess and have celebrity access to an unlimited supply of hats, tea and yep, crumpets.  While some of you may think it's a lost cause, this Bitsy has DVR'd just enough Desperate Housewives, Real Housewives of Atlanta and D.C. and then of course, there's the Bachelorette.  Anyone with any amount Housewives knowledge and know how, knows how to catch a prince.  It's a well known fact that it can take less than a minute to fall head over heels in love. With the royal wedding on tomorrow, all Bitsy needs to do is "fine tune" her plan  Here goes - no major obstacles, just have to persevere.  I mean I'm thinking of the Webbman too.  He's never far from my plan.  A royal step grandchild should be eligible for lots of perks!

1. Discuss w/the hubby.  He's very understanding.  The fact I'm married should  really be a "non-issue".
2. Meet "Prince William" in some kind of unexpected way. (Kroger, the Library, Circle K?)
3. Research to see if Royals shop at Kroger/read/pump gas.
4. If not, research how to get position as royal scullery maid. Obtain hubby job as royal scullery man.  Work extremely hard to keep our relationship "secret".  Royals KNOW how to do this.  No problem.
5. Contact previous employers to obtain references for scullery maid job application. 
6. Upon meeting, captivate Prince with healthy curves that look way cuter than that Middleton thing's crazy diet body.
7. Acquire healthy curves. (New boobs, tummy tuck, a little lipo - last resort - several pair of SPANKS
8. Start Facebook campaign to raise money to cover last minute surgery and/or life time supply of spanks.
9. Once Prince is drooling appropriately, dazzle him with knowledge of fancy teas and ability to make scones, and of course introduce him to his new scullery man.
10. Research fancy scones and teas.
11. Spend amazing day roaming the streets of London, feeding each other scones.
12. Practice sexy scone-eating, they're a little dry.
13. Almost kiss in front of Big Ben, but get stopped by loud chime just before our lips meet.
14. Break it off (despite Prince's vehement protests) in order to save his good name.
15. Catch that Middleton troll cheating with someone Irish or American. Maybe one of each?
16. Show up at Buckingham Palace to warn Will about Kate, but immediately decide to leave, saving him pain/embarrassment, BUT on way out stop to save Queen from tripping down stairs, catching her in pillow-y new breasts, gaining her favor and causing enough commotion to make Prince run downstairs and see me running out the door (Gate? Drawbridge?), leaving behind a shoe.
17. Run part shoeless (16b. bring extra shoes!) to Big Ben to find Prince, playing Elton John on boom box.
18. Keep detailed notes (blog? tweets?) about all this so can sell rights for tell-all book to be optioned as Lifetime movie, should Will decided to go back to that skinny party piece.
18. In case of amicable break-up, crash get invited to Will and Kate's rescheduled wedding, so I can meet Harry.   I mean Harry is a real possibility.  It's not always a bad thing to be second choice.
19. Start on backup plan re:  Harry.

Well ya'll, you may not hear from me to the weekend.  I'm going to be busy . . . . . royally busy beginning right NOW! Good day.