Good Night Moon, "R" Ratings, & Go the !#@* to Sleep

Warning.  As a courtesy, and out of reverence for my little precious, the Webbman and, in light of my sacred role as a "Bitsy", I feel compelled to let all of you know that portions of today's blog may be considered "R" — Restricted. Children Under 17 Require Accompanying Parent or Adult Guardian.  This R-rated blog, in the view of Bitsy's Rating Board, contains some adult material. An R-rated blog may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements, so that parents are counseled to take this rating very seriously. Children under 17 are not allowed to attend R-rated motion pictures unaccompanied by a parent or adult guardian. Parents are strongly urged to find out more about R-rated blogs in determining their suitability for their children. Generally, it is not appropriate for parents to bring their young children with them to read R-rated blogs.  So, on that note, here we go . . . . . "We're Off to the Races".  I figure that's appropriate since the following information is kind of "racey" :)

I suppose everyone has their own "very favorite bedtime story".  Bedtime stories have a way of delivering special memories, feelings of warmth and last but not least "heavy eyelids" to all our "favorite lil ones".  This Bitsy has several that brought many a good night's sleep for both the Lil Momma and for Bitsy!  My favorite is probably Margaret Wise Brown's "Good Night Moon".  If you haven't read it, you should.  I'll do my best to sum it up, but believe me . . . . a few sentences can't do it justice.  IN A GREAT GREEN ROOM, tucked away in bed, is a little bunny. "Goodnight room, goodnight moon." And to all the familiar things in the softly lit room--to the picture of the three little bears sitting in chairs, to the clocks and his socks, to the mittens and the kittens, to everything one by one--the bunny says goodnight. In this classic, the quiet poetry of the words and the gentle, lulling illustrations combine to make a perfect book for the end of the day.  While "Good Night Moon" is AMAZING, and I've already read it a number of times aloud to my our lil Webbguy, there was always that occasion when the Good Night Story just didn't work. No matter the lullaby, the good night story, the gentle snugly "rock", sometimes our lil ones just don't want to call it a night.  They just don't want to "give it up for the sandman"!  I don't know why nobody has gotten around to embracing the manufacture of some type of  "Pediatric Ambien".  As a Bitsy, I would certainly CONSIDER the investment possibilities in it!  Of course, as a "Bitsy", I would NEVER condone or recommend any such thing, but I certainly wouldn't condemn someone for exploring their options.  I'm fairly confident, however, that I'm not the only parent or grandparent who has had the briefest of thoughts just once, or maybe twice, that the Pediatric Ambien route may not be such a bad thing! 

As much as I adore "Good Night Moon" and the traditional Good Night Story, today I found an alternative.  No, it's not a replacement for Good Night Moon.  It's not Pediatric Ambien.  It's an ADULT Good Night Story which truly can only be appreciated by Parents (new, old, expectant), Grandparents, Aunt, Uncles, or Godparents.  I'll recommend it and hold my breath that each of you will find some humor, albiet off color, within it's pages.  It appears to have the potential for "I PEED MYSELF" funny classification.  That's the best way I know to describe it.  The Author has obviously experienced his own share of sleepless nights during his parenting stint.  It is affectionately titled "Go the F#@k To Sleep" and  is a bedtime story for those who live among human beings, not rabbits, right here in the real world, where a few ponies, some adorable snoozing kitties and cutesy rhyming words don't always work in lulling our little pipsqueaks off to a blissful dreamland. I'd say this book is sometimes painfully truthful, amazingly affectionate, and yep, a has potential to be a tad bit profane.  The author and the illustrator  seem to have the ability to capture the obvious and even the "not so obvious" trials and tribulations of putting your little squirt down for a good night's sleep!  However, irreverent, it somehow validates what we've all felt at some point when trying to get our angels to bed.  I can't wait to buy it, in fact, it may be Bitsy's Mother's Day present to herself!!

Here is a sample verse:

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the f@#k to sleep.

It's NO "Good Night Moon-in some ways, It's BETTER!