Friday, March 11, 2011

"Please GOOGLE don't revoke my search capability, NASA slights WEBB & Bin Laden isn't in my hole"

Baby Monitors~Who would have thunk it?   A strategically placed camera in the nursery?  A portable hand-held screen and microphone all in one? When did all of this happen?  I don't know what hole I crawled up in for the last 26 years or so and I certainly don't remember consciously "checking out" of the "inner sanctum" for baby paraphernalia, but perhaps I did.  One thing I do know, it was decidedly not the hole Bin Laden is in.  I think I would have seen him, and I definitely would have mentioned it to someone at the Pentagon.  On that note, I may have the answer to finding him though. . . . What about BABY MONITORS in all the holes in Pakistan and other surrounding "holey" areas?  Somewhere, along the line, (while I was in aforesaid hole) parents began to use these contraptions in their daily routines to help them monitor their children.  Genius! 

Even the smallest things can bring joy and laughter to the life of this Bitsy.  The Lil Momma called me yesterday to share a "Webbman Story".  It seems that everytime the "little green light" on the camera (which teeters at an angle on his crib) blinks, Webbman smiles, not just a tiny smile, but a smile that quite certainly lights up most of South Mississippi. The little man giggles and coos, "for whatever reason", as if communicating with the Space Station (HANG ONTO THAT FACT-YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT LATER).  So here's the scenario~Two (2) grown women obsessing about how they can "share" this moment effectively with an excess of 400 miles between them!  After some persistence and alot of due diligence, the Lil Momma resorted to taking a "screen shot" of the portable monitor so that Bitsy could savor the moment with she and Webb to experience it across a distance of 3 states!  It worked.  In no time, all 3 of us, were smiling, laughing and marveling in this moment.  It was amazing as I thought how wonderful it was to have options like these.  I also thought about how special it was to have a daughter who wallows in sharing these little moments with "Bitsy"  :)  Here's the screen shot.  Have you found yourself "smiling" yet?  It may take a few minutes, but YOU will.

The Webbman appears to be pretty happy with himself interacting with the "green light".

I am extremely inquisitive by nature however, despite this character trait, I do not have the faintest grasp of any scientific knowledge.  Always figured I wouldn't need to know, and if I did, the "scientists" had it all under control.  It turns out, time and time again, that I WISH I DID know and I WISH I DID understand.  Once again, I have found yet ONE MORE thing I need to "work on" in order to be a "well rounded Bitsy".  What if the little man asks me one day just how these contraptions work?  Soooooooooo, I have begun "googling", and "googling" in excess.  Yesterday it was "How do baby monitors work" but day before that it was "What is actually in {Skin So Soft} by Avon"?  I lay in wait and heave a singular sigh of relief when the Mailman arrives and I make it through Mail Delivery for another day without some correspondence from Google that goes something like this:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Google Corporate Headquarters
Division for Dumbasses
1600 Amphitheatre Parkway Mountain View, CA 94043

Post Office Box 12823
Snellville, GA  30039

Dear Bitsy,

We regret to inform you that your "Googling" privileges have been revoked until further notice.  Please check out a book from your local library on basic scientific facts and perhaps "monitor" a few 4th grade Science classes, soak up the basics and get back to us then.  We, at Google, are still trying to process just how a 54 year old woman with two degrees could have made it to this point in her life without the basic knowledge to cross a street.  Thank you for your faith in Google.


ERIC Schmidt
Chief Executive Officer
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

It's only been about four months, so I wait patiently, knowing the letter is coming~it's quite simply just a question of when!

One more little tidbit that I want to share with you today . . . it's something small, but really . . . "NASA - GET REAL".  Why is it that Webb's Baby Monitor has not streamed NASA Video directly to him?  We're feeling a tad "slighted".  He's just as special, if not more so, than this baby in Illinois?  I figure they don't know why either, so I'm trying not to get too carried away about it.  After all, I probably have too many other things to fret over these days and lots to do.  I'm trying to cram as many scientific inquiries into my google search bar as I can before i get "THE LETTER".

Check with ya'll tomorrow.  Maybe we'll see ya'll on the baby monitor :)


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